God's grace is sufficient for me, God's power is made perfect in my weakness.
Thursday, December 18, 2014
What will you choose?
Making decisions is kind of like driving. We stop at the major intersections but most of the time we drive right through the minor intersections and we don't give it a second thought. My life is so much safer when I slow down and take the time to look both ways.
Often times when we have major life events we will cry out to God, but we forget to include Him in our minor decisions. I believe God wants to be involved in even the smallest decisions. If we can slow down enough to involve God in our day to day life, I know He will never fail us.
Ultimately, it’s all the small choices that bring us to the big ones and then the big ones lead us to our final destination. You have a choice to make at every intersection in life. Are you going to turn left, right or go straight? Are you going to slow down and look or are you going to blow through the intersections and hope you arrive at your final destination safely?
When I slow down and ask God which way to go, I have a decision to make. Am I going to slow down and listen? Am I going be patient and believe that His timing is perfect? It's usually during the waiting and being still that I have the hardest time. During the waiting I am the most distracted. During the waiting I am anxious and overwhelmed. During the waiting I am and weak and I have to work hard to remember what God says to us in 2 Corinthians 12:9, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." This might sound good and it might look good on paper but when it comes time to live it, it's not always easy.
When we come to an intersection we have 3 choices; left, right or straight. We can also choose to slow down or we can choose to blow right through. In life, I believe that once we come to an intersection, no matter how big or small, we have three choices.
1. We can pray and ask God what his will is. Then we have to wait patiently for His perfect answer and be obedient.
2. We can pray and ask God what his will is. Then we become impatient and wrestle with his answer causing us discomfort.
3. We can leave God out or forget to ask Him and blow right through the intersection.
When we choose option one we have to be ready to press into God while we wait.This can be hard and I can be almost certain that there will be distractions. We may become impatient and feel out of control but we have to remember, when we are weak He is strong. It's ok if we feel out of control because that means He is in control! While we are waiting for His answer we need to take time to be still and listen and we have to take time to press into God. Pressing into God can be as easy as asking for His eyes to read your Bible. Ask for His ears while you listen to worship music or sermons. Keep praying and ask other around you to be praying as well. Finally, when you do hear him, GIVE THANKS!! 1 Thessalonians 5: 16-18 says, "Always be joyful. Never stop praying. Be thankful in all circumstances, for this is God’s will for you who belong to Christ Jesus."
If you choose the second option and ask God but then become impatient or distracted and wrestle with God, you will end up very uncomfortable. Do you remember what happened to Jacob in Genesis 32? He wrestled with God and ended up with a walking away with a sore hip.
If you choose the third option and lean on your own understanding eventually things will fall apart. Things may seem ok for a while and you may feel like you have everything under control but the time will come when you blow through the wrong intersection and get into an accident. I pray that you only end up in a minor fender bender that opens your eyes and shows you to slow down and seek Gods will. Proverbs 3: 5-7, "Trust in the Lord with all your heart; do not depend on your own understanding. Seek his will in all you do and he will show you which path to take. Don’t be impressed with your own wisdom."
So before you make another decision ask yourself these questions. Are you going seek Gods will and give Him control? Are you going to wrestle with God and limp away from the discussion? Or are you going to continue to do things your way and risk getting into accident after accident?
I can promise you this, God will never force His way into your life nor will He force His will upon you. What God will do is wait patiently, with arms wide open until you choose Him.
The choice is yours!
Wednesday, November 19, 2014
Exposing the Dark
Tuesday, November 18, 2014
To Have or To Have Not?
Saturday, November 15, 2014
Rejection Hurts
At that moment standing in the bathroom, I wanted to be somebody else, anyone else but me.
The enemy said "see you aren't good enough" "look how ugly you look" "you will never be good enough so you should just stop trying." "You are pathetic; look at you with your bloodshot puffy eyes, gross!" "Look how fat you are; disgusting!"
As I stood there looking in the mirror; I felt like giving in and listening to the lies and believing the manipulation. I really started to believe all these things; again. Here I really thought I was getting past all these feelings. I decided right there I was leaving; I wasn't good enough and I was going to stop trying. It is too hard. So, I left but I could not start my car and drive away.
I began to pray and God reminded me again how much he loves me. He reminded me that the enemy has been planting these ugly seeds since I was young. I felt like I didn’t fit into my family; having the dad who left because maybe I wasn't good enough. In school I wasn't good enough for the same reason; I didn't have the right last name. Then when I began to hang out with a new group of kids, I didn't fit in there either because this time I was too preppy. I never fit in, never felt good enough or bad enough or whatever enough. I just never felt enough. Until I met Jesus! He showed me in so many ways that I am enough. He loves me; NO MATTER WHAT!! It’s such a relief to finally belong somewhere and belong to someone. God reminded me that these were all LIES! He told me I belong there with Him.
I had this overwhelming feeling deep in my soul; I would not give up or give into the lies, not this time.
There are plenty of times when I fall short and times when I believe the lies, but today I was going to lean into my God and let him hold me until I felt strong enough to walk on my own. So I stood up left my car and put one foot in front of the other. I decided right there; no matter how I 'feel' I am choosing to love. I will love myself, I will love others and I will allow God to love me, even though I don't deserve it. This is what makes Him God, He loves me when I'm good, when I'm bad, when I'm ugly and when I give up. His love never changes, it is the same yesterday, today, and tomorrow!
Hebrews 13 5-6
"I will never fail you. I will never abandon you." So we can say with confidence, "The Lord is my helper, so I will have no fear. What can mere people do to me?"
Hebrew 13 8-9
Jesus Christ is the same yesterday, today, and forever. So do not be attracted by strange, new ideas. Your strength comes from God’s grace, not from rules about food, which don’t help those who follow them.
Friday, November 14, 2014
How low can you go?
My family is dysfunctional. We are not the most forgiving or forgetting family and we all know how to carry a grudge. I carried a grudge for my mother for most of my life, and still struggle at times. I have learned that the only thing I can do is surrender it all in prayer. That grudge I carried was a bitter root. See to it that no one misses the grace of God and that no bitter root grows up to cause trouble and defile many. Hebrews 12:15 I had been carrying this grudge around with me in my heart and it had grown over the years without even realizing it. In my sick mind, I just wanted my mom to hurt like she had hurt me. I thought since I couldn’t make her love me; then I wanted her to hurt too. I’m sure some people that are reading this do not like me very much right now, it’s O.K.; I don’t like who I was then either. I don’t share this with many people out of shame, but I want whoever is reading this to see that God’s grace, mercy, love, and forgiveness can reach even the people who feel they are unreachable and too far gone.
For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord. Romans 8:38-39
We CAN NOT go so low in life that will ever make God turn from us or stop Him from loving us or you. I would like to say that what I did to my mother was my lowest point, but again that would be a lie. I have so many secrets, that my secrets have secrets. Those secrets are one of the weapons that the enemy uses on me in my head. My head is full of secrets, chaos, confusion, doubt, fear, anxiety, worry, anger, sadness, bitterness, and so much more. In my head, I think I come up with these brilliant plans and ideas that seem to make so much sense, but in reality, I’m wanting to be in control. I am now learning at 35 years old how to give that control to Jesus, because I have seen what happens when He is in control and what happens when I am. When I’m taking control I do the twisted things that I have done to others and myself; it never ends well. The enemy may play in our minds, but Jesus knows our hearts.
There was no need for anyone to tell him about them, because he himself knew what was in their hearts. John 2:25
Are We Qualified to Judge Another?
Do you know why some of the words in the Bible are red? I didn't, so don't be embarrassed if you don't. They are the words that Jesus spoke. When I first read this verse; I really didn't understand it then, but I do more today. He was talking about pointing out others sins, but not looking at our own. We are all sinners. If we have ever had an angry thought towards someone; you have committed murder according to sin. Every lusted after someone who's married; you've committed adultery. Our thoughts can be sin. Recently, a friend was physically assaulted in her own home by two men. This woman has made bad choices in life, but in no way deserved what happened to her. There is never a good enough reason for two men to go uninvited into a woman's home and do what was done to her. There are people saying that "she should have known" or " deserved what she got because of the way she lives."
Who are we to judge anyone else? By what standards can we measure what another deserves; our own? I am as guilty as whoever is reading this too. I have judged others so many times. I have gotten good at doing this over the years, because if everyone is looking at what they are doing wrong, nobody is looking at me. I was pointing out others sin; while living in it myself. This woman that some say "deserved it" is the one that would get my laundry out of the dryer so I could go to bed sick, dig through her house at 11pm to help find a band-aid for one of my kids, lend me her blu-ray player when she barely knew me, and gave me food when one month my family almost went without.
God sees our hearts, and I have to ask myself, "how do I love others the way He loves me?" It's not always an easy thing to do, but I try to be as open about my past and who I was. I remember the whispers that would be said around town about me. I remember the blank smiles as people passed me on the streets. I remember the pain inside that I tried to smile and fake my way thorough. I also remember the people who were willing to get dirty, come into my messy life, and want to love me anyway. I don't want to be one of those people that whispers in the dark; I want to be one that lights up the dark. If we want to be able to love like Jesus does; we have to be willing to really look at the truth in the red words and ask ourselves, "What's in my own eye?" I pray that Jesus continues to speak truth to me and show me the areas where His strength can be demonstrated in my weakness. What would the world look like if we stopped judging and got dirty in someone's messy life by living them instead?
"A new command I give you: Love one another. As I have loved you, so you must love one another" John 13:34
Welcome :-)
Come to me, all who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light. Matthew 11:28-30
“My yoke is easy and my burden is light;” does that sound lighter than the load your carrying? For those who didn’t know what “yoke” means; don’t feel bad because neither did I. Harness, collar, and coupling are different ways to say “yoke.” It’s a wooden crosspiece that is fastened over the necks of two animals and attached to the plow or cart that they are to pull. It’s a device used to hook loads up to animals for them to drag around behind them. Can you imagine the load Jesus was carrying as he carried that cross up that hill? He carried literally, the weight of the entire world; do you really think he can’t handle yours? His burden was heavier than we could even imagine, but he’s telling us to give him our heavy load too. Because it’s not a burden to him, he was the only one strong enough to carry our sins; he’s the only one strong enough to carry our baggage.
This blog is being created for exactly that reason; to share the load. We are all carrying around so much; it's too much to bear. Share it. I recently started sharing my story and all the baggage that I carry and have found other people that have been carrying similar loads; convinced of being the only one. I want to create a way to devote our experiences, pasts, life lessons, and all the brokenness to the glory of God. You may be going through a storm that is crashing around you so hard that you think you can't go on, but you can. Sharing stories; we encourage one another in those calms, but more so during the storms. This is a place to support one another, but most importantly draw nearer to the Lord.